Love

I had an interesting conversation with someone tonight on the topic of love.  It was actually weird.  This person is going through a pretty nasty divorce and is hurt beyond measure.  I can't blame this person really.  The situation is really cruel.  But this person has found a new love interest (even before the divorce has been finalized) and claimed to be empty without the other person.  I thought about not saying anything, but chose to try to help anyway.  :)   In the end, the person thought my marriage was over and that my life was sad because of the way I see love.  I proceeded to explain that love was a choice I made regardless of how I felt.  The person came right back and said that it was the excitement, the joy, etc., that you feel with your spouse.  I came back with that's how the world tells you to think of love.  It's not how God sees love.  The person asked if I missed my spouse because he's away right now.  I said sure, but I'm  not empty because he's gone.  The person asked to describe how I felt in one word.  I said content.  Then the person tried to bring it from another angle and asked how I felt when my husband was home.  I said content.  I told this person that I choose to love my husband  no matter how I'm feeling that day, and that love is just that...a choice.  Love is also 1 Cor 13:4-8a.  Love is also speaking the truth to someone who needs it.  It's not a meant to be a feeling.  Jesus loves the sinners...but He tells them how it is...believe, confess, repent, and be baptized.  It's not based on His feelings for them...it's based on what's best for them.  This person thought that was sad.  I told this person that I will never again base my happiness on a mere person again.  God is my rock and I base my life on Him.  I told this person that my marriage was solid because I choose to love regardless.  You can't choose feelings...feelings come and go and are fickle.  I'm not saying that I don't love my husband.  I do.  And, I will love my husband regardless of how I'm feeling.  Sometimes that will require an intentional choice on my part.  It will require me to put aside ME (die to self) and focus on God and him.  If your vertical relationship with God is solid, you can do anything, go through anything, handle anything, and be anything.  I can do anything with God Who strengthens me.  It really is that simple.  No, it's not always easy.  But it does work.  It really is hard to talk about love with someone who doesn't have God as their foundation/priority.  God makes it very clear what Love is:  "Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,  does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never fails...." (1 Cor 13:4-8a).  Nowhere in there does it say it's a gushy mushy feeling.  It's work and a choice you make each and every day you're married.  BECAUSE I choose to do this, the feelings are there, NOT the other way around.  You must get rid of selfishness first before you can have a successful marriage. 

On a side note, my mustang is in the shop for repairs to his boo boo...he'll be all better soon.  In the meantime, I have a rental car:  Chevy Impala.  Really nice ride. I was actually shocked.  :)   Even my teen commented on how nice of a ride it was.  They need to fix my car soon so I don't get the itch to get a new car!  LOL.  But, I will save for my next car and pay cash...and probably buy used. 

Well, I should be off to bed now.  I really hope you all have Christ-centered day.  He is the Way the Truth and Life.... Live out loud!! 

Hugs!!

Time does fly...

I'm sitting in a Starbucks coffee house on the air force base as I type this.  Why?  :)  I'm waiting on my youngest, my "baby," to finish her college assessment tests.  Where oh where did the time go?  I mean really...my oldest is out of the house, in the Air Force, married, and already on a trip to Korea.  That makes me feel a bit old.  :)  My youngest is on her last leg in the house...in her senior year, taking college classes along with her HS school classes...and the HS is paying for them!!  Anyway...it seems like they should still be in grade school driving me all kinds of nuts.   But nope...now they're driving me nuts in a different way.  :D   I was emailing an acquaintance of mind earlier, trying to pass the time since this netbook doesn't have Microsoft Office and therefore I cannot do my schoolwork, and realized how long it had been since we "caught up" with each other.  She was asking how the kids were doing...lol. I was like...uh, I don't really have kids anymore...they're pretty much adult children now.  What a transition.  Now I have to wait for them to come to me for advice...I can't just impart my vast experience and knowledge on them on a whim anymore.  Well, I suppose I could, but I'm sure it wouldn't be appreciated.  :)   I did talk to my oldest a bit the other day and was talking financial things.  As I was telling him how to keep from getting into debt and other financial woes, I stopped.  I inwardly started a monologue...I've given him this info before, probably many times over his teen years.  So, I just stopped the conversation and said..."but I'm sure I've told you all this before...." and left it there.  He agreed, quite politely I might add, which is new.  LOL.   I am getting better at this.  I don't initiate many of the conversations anymore with my oldest...I let him come to me (or my husband).  He seems to really like it that way.  I think it makes him feel more in control of his life.  Sure, it was a harder transition than I anticipated, going from protector to a person who is there for advice...when requested.  But, I am doing it, and settling in to the role...slowly.  :)  I still have one in the house for whom I still am in the protector mode...and her leaving will have a huge impact on me, I can already tell.  My husband best be around for that day or I am not sure I'll be OK...lol.  She has grown into such a beautiful person.  I just cherish her.  I always thought my son would have my heart this way, but my daughter has taken over...maybe because it's just been her and I for the last several years (with my husband always gone for his job).  I'm not sure, but my son has always had my heart...until he got married...maybe that's it.  Who knows...what I do know is that I am going to be a mess when she leaves the house. 

I suppose I'll stop the sappy stuff...Besides, my daughter's done with her assessments...and passed them all!!  Can I get a Oh yeah!  :D  lol.

Til we chat again..

Hugs!