Should Wives Obey their Husbands

An email came across my inbox yesterday whose title was "Should Wives Obey Their Husbands?" If I had received that email 4 or so years ago, I would have promptly dismissed it with an indignant huff and permanently deleted said email, as well. But, when I saw that email yesterday, I did no such thing. In fact, I actually promptly opened it up to see what it was going to tell me. Now, let me take a slight detour here for a minute with you. This email came from Pastor Mark Gungor. Mark is engrained in my heart for quite a few reasons, one of which I must admit is pretty much saving my marriage. Another is for getting me to finally admit that I am completely and totally lost without Jesus. I've never personally met Mark Gungor, but have seen his marriage seminar on DVD and in person. Mark is a marriage proponent, and has his own internet radio show. You can find his resources at www.laughyourway.com. You won't regret it. Now back to the email.
I had to listen to the podcast of his internet radio show to see what he was talking about when he sent out the email. Well, it wasn't exactly on point with what I was thinking when I opened the email. Imagine that. lol. Anyway, if you want to hear what he has to say on this topic, go to his radio show archives and listen to 15 Mar 2011. It's in the very beginning. So, because he didn't go where I thought he would, I'll summarize what he said then go into what I really wanted to talk about. :) His point was that it's rare to hear men talk amongst themselves and complain that their wives don't obey them. However, if you get into a group of women talking about their husbands, it is quite common to hear them talk about how they cannot get their husbands to listen to them, i.e., obey them. Ladies, there is NO biblical reference for this type of thinking. No where in the Bible does it say that the husband is subject to listening to his wife. On the contrary, there is biblical reference for wives to do exactly that, which is actually where I wanted to take this post. :)

I will say up front that my post is going to be biblical in nature and as such could be foreign to anyone not familiar with this way of thinking. You are free to contact me if you have any questions. I am not by any means an expert, but do have resources to help. So, what does the Bible say about how a woman is to be towards her husband? A wife is to be a helper to her husband (Gen 2:18). If you read the Bible you'll soon see that the world "helper" is also the title given to God. Being your husband's helper is just you providing what is lacking in your husband. Every husband has places in his life that his wife can easily fulfill. In other words, being your husband's helper is no way implying you are inferior. So, what does it mean to submit to your husband, and why should we do this? Well, we should do this because God said so: Eph 5:22-24, 1 Pet 3:1, Col 3:18. The meaning behind submission is where this all starts to blur and become contentious for a wife. If you use what the world's perspective on submission, you will quickly steer clear of doing this. A few things that I learned from our church's Marriage Builders class concerning submission:

A. It helps him to lead because it helps him be the servant leader he is called to be.
B. It makes it easier for him to demonstrate unselfish love
C. It helps him be aware of his responsibility to care for you.
D. It helps him to trust you--submission's counterpart is resistance or opposition; trust grows in a climate free of competition and selfish desire.

If you seek to be equal in the marriage, you change your role from "helper" to competitor. In those homes where women seek equality, men tend to check out...emotionally and physically. (TCC Marriage Builders Class). What does this mean? Look, I'm not going to say it's easy; it's not. If your spouse is a godly man, he isn't going to lord over you. Submission truly comes into play when there is a decision that MUST be made and neither of you can come to an agreement. SOMEONE has to make a decision. This falls now to the husband. Remember, your first and primary purpose is to be God's girl. If you are being God's girl, you will follow His commands here and do what He asks of you. Your husband will be held accountable to God for his fulfillment of marital responsibilities. You may not like the decision, and that decision may not be the right one; however, remember that in the end, if your husband fails here, he will be held accountable for it, not you. You, my dear, have no worries if you follow God's principles.

That was definitely short and sweet concerning a huge topic. If there are subsequent questions, I'll be glad to clarify them. If I don't have the answer, I do have godly women to ask and get you any answer you need to help you in this area. I certainly hope you enjoyed this post. I enjoyed writing it. Helps to remind me of my own responsibilities in my marriage.

I didn't have anything humorous happen to me today other than I have a movie to watch this week of my choosing.  It has to have a psychology theme to it, though.  I asked FB friends if they knew of any, since I am not a movie buff.  Well, one of my friends, who I'll allow to remain nameless here, but she exposes herself on FB, starts rattling off movie after movie after movie...and doesn't stop at the name of the movie.  She proceeds to tell me who stars in each movie.  I was like, wow.  I can't imagine she has time for much else.  LOL. 

Love and hugs in Christ

Bobbie Jo

Initial Post

Welcome to my blog.  A little about me:  Wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, friend...oh and retired Air Force MSgt (E-7). Love my life, including all the challenges that come my way. Refines and reforms me, allowing me to become more dependent on Him Who created me. I've been to a few cities/states/countries in my 20+ career: San Antonio TX; Biloxi MS; Hampton VA (where my two children were born); Grand Forks ND; Wichita Falls TX; South Korea; Wrightstown NJ; and Tucson AZ...oh and a stint in Afghanistan. Love Jesus and strive to live my life for Him. Am proud of my husband, Chris, for his contribution to this great nation as a MSgt in the Air Force performing a dangerous job as an Explosive Ordnance Disposal (EOD) technician, or bomb tech as it's commonly referred to. Thankful for my two children, Bryan and Taylor.

I will try to write something as often as I can.  I am also taking college classes, so that may limit my ability to get on here daily, but I will try.  I am going to use my title of Life, Faith, and Humor as my guidelines for each post, by commenting a bit on each category.  I hope you enjoy this.  I think it will be therapuetic for me, as well.  :)  Please feel free to leave me any comments.  If you would like a topic discussed further, let me know that and I'll work on it for you.  :)    Tomorrow's post "should" be about "Should women obey their husbands?"  I know...way to start off the Life/Faith categories.  I'm sure my life, or that of my daughter, will provide humor for us as well.  :)

Thanks for dropping by.  Hugs and love in Christ. 

Bobbie Jo